Day 4: Evening

Morning: Day 3

Morning: Day 2

End of day 1

Masculinity Video Diary

Hey Folks! So I did a performance piece today that commented on the roots of masculinity and explored the ideas of social constructed masculinity, the masculine in opposition to the feminine, and the masculine as the biological, testosterone-induced behavior. The climax of the piece involved getting a 50mg shot in my butt muscle of Testosterone. It's the testosterone FTM transsexuals take to grow a bit more hair and muscles and to change their voice. I will be keeping a video diary over the course of days it takes for this testosterone to metabolize in order to pinpoint the changes. By doing this, I'll be able to differentiate between what is actually me, Kris, and what is the testosterone-controlled male behavior that I am somewhat of a slave to. This is entry #1, before any effects have shown up. Enjoy!

Do I still get to drink?

I'm buying this...today.

Heart-Shaped Picture Frames

Sunday morning, I catered a Jewish Baby-Naming for a gay couple. It was their second child, a daughter. They already had a three year old boy, and he was clearly spoiled, as there wasn't one room in the entire 3-story house that didn't have a corner devoted to toys. The house was beautiful, lavish, and Frank Lloyd Wright-inspired. The word, "wealthy" doesn't even begin to describe these noblemen of the twenty-first century. After all, they did just unload well over a grand to feed and entertain over 100 guests from their temple in celebrating the naming of their second child. It was more than just a celebration of a birth in my eyes, though; it was a celebration of a victory.

These men are victorious. They have defeated the caitiff of homosexual stereotype. I hope I can learn from them, because I still feel trapped by it. Contrary to my gay-hating retaliation and unjustifiable retreat before I give myself the chance to get to know a boy, these heroes of the cause met, fell in love, and started a fucking family. That's beautiful. Cheers, guy! I hope one day I find someone who can help me slay the dragon of self-fulfilling prophecies. More gay couples need to start successful families in order to prove to the world that we can provide a healthy environment to raise kids, and to prove to our more lascivious counterparts that procreation is still the most rewarding outcome of life.

At the end of the event, I saw a little girl scouring a decorative pillar with paper-machet and pictures of the family. The pillar had pictures of their son, graduation pictures, wedding pictures, etc. At first, the girl was plagued with confusion, but as she stuck her face as close to each heart-shaped picture as she could without losing focus, a little spark of understanding shined in her eye. She smiled, and ran to her mom. I wonder how her mother explained her gentlemen friends' relationship in the car on the way home, because I'm sure that little girl was full of questions...

I also wonder if I'll ever be allowed to have my child baptised...not that I'd do it.

Go Judaism!